Let’s talk about something that’s never easy: losing a spouse. If you’re reading this, you may be walking through the fog of grief — or perhaps you’re supporting someone who is. Either way, I want you to know this: you are not alone, and you don’t have to figure everything out right away.

The Impact of Grief on Decision-Making

Grief doesn’t just weigh on your heart. It can cloud your thoughts, steal your energy and make even simple decisions feel overwhelming. I often remind clients that it’s okay to pause. You don’t have to have all the answers today.

During this early stage of loss, it’s important to separate your emotional recovery from decision-making. When you are in survival mode, rushing into financial or legal choices can lead you to decisions that may not serve you well in the long run. Give yourself permission to breathe. Clarity will come.

What Needs Attention First

While much can wait, a few practical things should be addressed early. I recommend beginning with these things:

•  Order multiple copies of the death certificate. Banks, insurance companies, investment firms and other financial institutions will each require one to process changes and make distributions during the estate dissolution process.
• Gather key documents. Start compiling bank and investment account statements, life insurance policies, estate documents and any trust information. You’ll want to confirm who the executor/personal representative/trustee (if there is a Trust in place) is and identify the listed beneficiaries.
• Consult an estate attorney. If you’re unsure about next steps, an estate attorney can help guide you through probate (if necessary) and ensure that nothing critical is missed. Some estates may not require court involvement. Knowing what applies to you is key.
•  Connect with a financial advisor. A trusted financial advisor can help you comb through the details, prioritize tasks, establish a timeline and ease the burden of figuring everything out alone.

Listening First: Relationships Build Trust

If you’re already working with a financial advisor, you know how valuable that relationship can be, especially during life’s hardest moments. But if you’re starting fresh, know that a good advisor will always begin by listening.

I want to hear your story. Your family, your values, your hopes and your fears. My role isn’t just about the numbers; it’s to walk with you, side by side as you navigate the immediate aftermath and the long-term road ahead.

Making Space for Clarity

These conversations can be hard. Sometimes you just need a moment to breathe and let the emotions settle. That’s understandable, and it’s expected. My role is to offer both empathy and education, space to grieve and a roadmap for moving forward.

We’ll take things one step at a time. No pressure, no rush. Just steady progress at a pace that honors your emotional and practical needs.

Looking Ahead: Redefining What’s Next

As you move forward, your financial life will shift. Maybe you’re transitioning to a single income or your tax filing situation is changing. But beyond the numbers, it’s about reimagining the life you want going forward.

Do you want to stay in your current home? Move closer to loved ones? Travel more? It may be hard to picture a new future, and you don’t have to answer all these questions now. But when you’re ready, I’ll be here to help you shape the future on your terms.

Learn more: Tax Guide for Women Who’ve Had a Major Life Change

A Team Approach

You don’t have to manage this transition alone. I work closely with estate attorneys and CPAs to ensure nothing falls through the cracks — from handling estate tax returns to making changes to your tax filing status and ensuring that required minimum distributions are taken. Together, we make sure that you feel fully supported, legally and financially. 

Gaining Confidence, One Step at a Time

If you weren’t the one managing the finances before, stepping into that role can feel intimidating. Remember that there’s no shame in not knowing — this is a learning journey and I’m here to walk with you. We’ll talk about your lifestyle, your values and long-term goals, your expenses and income needs, and I’ll help fill in the gaps. My goal is to help you feel more informed and build confidence along the way.

Birchwood advisor Bridget Handke created a resource guide specifically for women navigating life after loss. Whether you’re taking the very first steps or beginning to think about long-term planning, this helpful guide offers thoughtful support to help you feel more informed, more in control and a little less alone. 

Download Now - Finances for One: A Financial Guide to Managing Money for Widows

For Anyone Suddenly Single

While today’s focus is on widows, much of this applies to anyone who finds themselves suddenly single, whether through death, divorce, separation or other life events. Grief, uncertainty and the need for support are universal.

Whatever path brought you here, you deserve compassion and a partner who can help you navigate this transition on your timeline and at your own pace.

If you are grieving the loss of a spouse or supporting someone who is, know that support is available. With the right guidance, you can honor your grief, make informed decisions, regain your footing and move toward your next chapter — one step at a time.